FAQ about Prostate Cancer
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how to check for prostate cancer at home

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Q: How do you cope with the death of a father?
See my father hasn’t died yet, but judging by all the pain he is going through, i don’t give it much time before he does. Its better if he gets himself out of the misery, i cant stand to watch him go through it any longer.
Me and him never had the sort of relationship a Father-Daughter should have, He was always paranoid and pessimistic, and every time i did something bad, he would turn it into a situation that involves him telling me whole family, and complaining and screaming about it for hours, and bringing it up whenever i do something similar.
i.e. I stole lip gloss from The Bay, one day during March Break, it was stupid i know, but i was in Grade 7 & I never gave much though to what i was doing i was just putting it on, liked it, kept it, and walked out. After that I was banned from seeing my Best friend Maria, (They call her my Accomplice) I spent the summer of 06-07 out a lot, hardly ever at home, hanging out with friends(and Maria) at parks, & coming home around 9-10, He was so paranoid he use to follow me to my Friends house, and get my brothers to drive around and see what i was doing, to check if i was with Maria, Soon enough i told him she was always there when i went out, but I honest to god never did anything bad, But they never listen, till this day, 2009, the whole family thinks i am some horrible cretin, we moved to the Country because they thought i was Out of control.

When i was younger, my father had Prostate cancer, But it got resolved, ever since than he spent everyday till now at home, on disability, so 6-7 years later, the cancer came back, about two months ago, at first he couldn’t walk very well and got pains down his back, than he couldn’t drive, than he couldn’t walk without help, than he couldn’t get up from the couch, and today, he couldn’t even lift himself from bed. His cancer has spread to his Spine/Bones, and its stopping him from Creating blood, today he went to the Hospital to get his weekly transfusion and they told us he also has Pneumonia, and he has to stay in the Hospital.

Apart of me, is being very selfish, the one part is telling me that ‘Oh well, he ruined your relationship with your brothers, and sisters, now they think your irresponsible, the stress he put on you made you concentrate less on school, and everything you should have learned over the course of grade seven and grade eight, you never did, so your practically failing high school, really trying as hard as you can to find the old you who got 80% and cared. You wont miss him, he never did anything good for you anyways, besides buy you stuff, and drive you where you wanted, but if he didn’t move to the country, i wouldn’t need him to drive me anyway, and by now id have a job, so its his own god damn fault, now i have Eqao tomorrow, than exams next week, and ive missed all my prep & review classes, because i have to stay home and watch my father fall apart, and the whole future i was trying to attain will go down the drain because i cant even get through high school, not to mention all the pain my mother is going through, she doesn’t even go to work anymore, than whats going to happen, we are going to loose this huge house, all the friends i worked so hard to make at the new school, the familiarity, ‘
The other side, is trying to cope with the Emotional stress of loosing my FATHER, i am so emotional i break down in tears at least once or twice a day, and i don’t want to loose him. The pain it will put my mother through, its bad enough she crys just as much or more than i do, and the selfish thoughts that go through my head every time someone asks me ‘Oh do you wanna go see your father in the Hospital’ my thoughts alone, tear up my sinister, cold, black, insides.

Jesus christ, the confusion, depression im putting my self through, How am i suppose to deal with this ? Im only 14.
I dont think id be able or aloud to talk to him about this, It would cause him stress, and he would just start talking over me, than after awhile of trying not to get pissed off at him for continuing to make stupid comments over me, i would just snap and start yelling at him.
I know myself, and him… all to well.

A: It is difficult with cope with a loved one passing away so please understand that the fears and frustrations you are facing are so totally normal. We’ve all had problems like yours in our lives and your father’s death (now or future) will hit you hardest because of the guilt you carry about past occurances. He’s only human so if you have the right to make stupid mistakes, he should too. You’ve got to forgive and forget the past and try to understand where he’s come from in trying to help you grow into a mature and responsible person. Kids don’t come with instruction books like blenders. The last words my dad said to my brother was to apologize to me for being a bad father. How hard is that to know but not be able to say anything back? You probably should have a mature conversation with your Dad while you have the chance… tell him what you’ve just told us. It won’t make the tears go away. You will still mourn when the time comes but you’ll be able to do it without the guilt hanging over you of what you wish you had said. You will have said it. You cannot change the past but you can change your future. Ask your school if they have any support groups or counselors. It won’t hurt for you to go through your teenage turmoil with others. Medication could help… check with a specialist!

Q: How do you cope with the death of a father?
See my father hasn’t died yet, but judging by all the pain he is going through, i don’t give it much time before he does. Its better if he gets himself out of the misery, i cant stand to watch him go through it any longer.
Me and him never had the sort of relationship a Father-Daughter should have, He was always paranoid and pessimistic, and every time i did something bad, he would turn it into a situation that involves him telling me whole family, and complaining and screaming about it for hours, and bringing it up whenever i do something similar.
i.e. I stole lip gloss from The Bay, one day during March Break, it was stupid i know, but i was in Grade 7 & I never gave much though to what i was doing i was just putting it on, liked it, kept it, and walked out. After that I was banned from seeing my Best friend Maria, (They call her my Accomplice) I spent the summer of 06-07 out a lot, hardly ever at home, hanging out with friends(and Maria) at parks, & coming home around 9-10, He was so paranoid he use to follow me to my Friends house, and get my brothers to drive around and see what i was doing, to check if i was with Maria, Soon enough i told him she was always there when i went out, but I honest to god never did anything bad, But they never listen, till this day, 2009, the whole family thinks i am some horrible cretin, we moved to the Country because they thought i was Out of control.

When i was younger, my father had Prostate cancer, But it got resolved, ever since than he spent everyday till now at home, on disability, so 6-7 years later, the cancer came back, about two months ago, at first he couldn’t walk very well and got pains down his back, than he couldn’t drive, than he couldn’t walk without help, than he couldn’t get up from the couch, and today, he couldn’t even lift himself from bed. His cancer has spread to his Spine/Bones, and its stopping him from Creating blood, today he went to the Hospital to get his weekly transfusion and they told us he also has Pneumonia, and he has to stay in the Hospital.

Apart of me, is being very selfish, the one part is telling me that ‘Oh well, he ruined your relationship with your brothers, and sisters, now they think your irresponsible, the stress he put on you made you concentrate less on school, and everything you should have learned over the course of grade seven and grade eight, you never did, so your practically failing high school, really trying as hard as you can to find the old you who got 80% and cared. You wont miss him, he never did anything good for you anyways, besides buy you stuff, and drive you where you wanted, but if he didn’t move to the country, i wouldn’t need him to drive me anyway, and by now id have a job, so its his own god damn fault, now i have Eqao tomorrow, than exams next week, and ive missed all my prep & review classes, because i have to stay home and watch my father fall apart, and the whole future i was trying to attain will go down the drain because i cant even get through high school, not to mention all the pain my mother is going through, she doesn’t even go to work anymore, than whats going to happen, we are going to loose this huge house, all the friends i worked so hard to make at the new school, the familiarity, ‘
The other side, is trying to cope with the Emotional stress of loosing my FATHER, i am so emotional i break down in tears at least once or twice a day, and i don’t want to loose him. The pain it will put my mother through, its bad enough she crys just as much or more than i do, and the selfish thoughts that go through my head every time someone asks me ‘Oh do you wanna go see your father in the Hospital’ my thoughts alone, tear up my sinister, cold, black, insides.

Jesus christ, the confusion, depression im putting my self through, How am i suppose to deal with this ? Im only 14.

A: Just remember that God loves you and doesn’t anything on anyone that they can’t handle. I’m sorry that your dad is in the shape that he is. It seems like only a miracle from God can turn his condition around. Stay strong. You have to stay strong for your father’s sake. You and your mom can’t let him feel like his condition is a burden to you both; if you do, he’ll give up the little fight that he does have left. In the event that he meets his demise which based on what you say above will probably be the case, remember that his suffering will at least be over. I hate also that you all might lose your house. I’ll have you all in my prayers.

Q: How do you cope with the death of a father?
See my father hasn’t died yet, but judging by all the pain he is going through, i don’t give it much time before he does. Its better if he gets himself out of the misery, i cant stand to watch him go through it any longer.
Me and him never had the sort of relationship a Father-Daughter should have, He was always paranoid and pessimistic, and every time i did something bad, he would turn it into a situation that involves him telling me whole family, and complaining and screaming about it for hours, and bringing it up whenever i do something similar.
i.e. I stole lip gloss from The Bay, one day during March Break, it was stupid i know, but i was in Grade 7 & I never gave much though to what i was doing i was just putting it on, liked it, kept it, and walked out. After that I was banned from seeing my Best friend Maria, (They call her my Accomplice) I spent the summer of 06-07 out a lot, hardly ever at home, hanging out with friends(and Maria) at parks, & coming home around 9-10, He was so paranoid he use to follow me to my Friends house, and get my brothers to drive around and see what i was doing, to check if i was with Maria, Soon enough i told him she was always there when i went out, but I honest to god never did anything bad, But they never listen, till this day, 2009, the whole family thinks i am some horrible cretin, we moved to the Country because they thought i was Out of control.

When i was younger, my father had Prostate cancer, But it got resolved, ever since than he spent everyday till now at home, on disability, so 6-7 years later, the cancer came back, about two months ago, at first he couldn’t walk very well and got pains down his back, than he couldn’t drive, than he couldn’t walk without help, than he couldn’t get up from the couch, and today, he couldn’t even lift himself from bed. His cancer has spread to his Spine/Bones, and its stopping him from Creating blood, today he went to the Hospital to get his weekly transfusion and they told us he also has Pneumonia, and he has to stay in the Hospital.

Apart of me, is being very selfish, the one part is telling me that ‘Oh well, he ruined your relationship with your brothers, and sisters, now they think your irresponsible, the stress he put on you made you concentrate less on school, and everything you should have learned over the course of grade seven and grade eight, you never did, so your practically failing high school, really trying as hard as you can to find the old you who got 80% and cared. You wont miss him, he never did anything good for you anyways, besides buy you stuff, and drive you where you wanted, but if he didn’t move to the country, i wouldn’t need him to drive me anyway, and by now id have a job, so its his own god damn fault, now i have Eqao tomorrow, than exams next week, and ive missed all my prep & review classes, because i have to stay home and watch my father fall apart, and the whole future i was trying to attain will go down the drain because i cant even get through high school, not to mention all the pain my mother is going through, she doesn’t even go to work anymore, than whats going to happen, we are going to loose this huge house, all the friends i worked so hard to make at the new school, the familiarity, ‘
The other side, is trying to cope with the Emotional stress of loosing my FATHER, i am so emotional i break down in tears at least once or twice a day, and i don’t want to loose him. The pain it will put my mother through, its bad enough she crys just as much or more than i do, and the selfish thoughts that go through my head every time someone asks me ‘Oh do you wanna go see your father in the Hospital’ my thoughts alone, tear up my sinister, cold, black, insides.

Jesus christ, the confusion, depression im putting my self through, How am i suppose to deal with this ? Im only 14.

A: My suggestion is to let go of all the past – focus now on today. Go and hold his hand and sit with him. He will have done his best for you in the only way he knew how – cherish his love for you, let him know you are there. When he does pass away you will remember these last special moments with him and have no regrets. Best wishes to you all and especially to your Dad for a peaceful passing. uk

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