FAQ about Prostate Cancer

sex after prostate surgery

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Q: Is there any sex life after prostate canser surgery?
My fiance’ even tried Cealis and other types of stimulents as prescribed by his doctor. Nothing works. Currently we have no sex life.

A: Get a vibrator…

Q: can you still have sex after prostate surgery?

A: Absolutely. Talk to your surgeon about the procedure, ask for literature. Let him or her know that your sex life is important. Although there is a risk of impotence after radical pelvic surgery, many feel that addressing return of erectile function as early as possible afterwards is beneficial.

The struggle of surgeons is to eradicate disease and leave your life intact with high quality. It is what everyone involved wants.

Q: Sex after prostate cancer surgery?
My husband had surgery for stage 1 prostate cancer about 2 weeks ago . I am not in a rush but I was wondering when the ability to get an erection comes back.

A: There is no common denominator. Sometimes things return to normal in a few weeks, sometimes the surgery causes permanent damage that makes it impossible to get an erection, and everything in between is also possible. You can test the waters as soon as the surgical wounds have healed and the pain has subsided.

Q: can a man have sex after prostate cancer surgery?

A: If the nerves are undamaged then the man should still be able to achieve an erection. He may need medication such as viagra.

Q: how long after prostate surgery can a man have sex?

A: soon. Your catheder stays in for about 2 weeks – obviously that time period is out. After that, it depends on your surgery. If you have any of the laposcopic procedures, you will be having relations sooner than later. The full radical surgery, with a 6-7 cm incision around Manland takes longer to heal.

Another major factor is the extent of your cancer and the skill of your surgeon. The nerves for erection reside on the surface of the prostate. Your surgeon will examine the prostate to see if the tumor has developed to the surface of the prostate (Your Gleason Score will tell you more about that).

If your cancer has spread to the prostate surface, the surgeon will remove those nerves – you will have lost the ability to have a natural erection and will have to have either the inplant or the injection therapy to start having sex again. That’s going to take time.

If the nerves have been spared (as in my case), you will probably need Viagra (as I do) until the nerves fully recover. I started having relations 5-6 weeks after surgery. If you master the incontinence thing (a real mood killer), then you can go even quicker.

Q: Can you help, boyfriend had prostate removed due to cancer, after sex, he has frequent urination for days.?
Its been over a year since the surgery to remove the prostate. Boyfriend still wear pads urine leakage. He wont have sex, because he suffers with frequent urination for days after and he needs to be treated with antibotics. Its not me, because we were active prior to the surgery and had no problems. Then there are times we dont have sex, I just give him oral , and he has the same problem. Could there be something going on in his bladder or ureatha? Any suggestions would be appreciated at this time.

A: He needs to get back in touch with his urologist and get that checked out soon

Q: Prostate cancer – after surgery?
My husband had prostate cancer and they removed his prostate (he is 43 and it was removed 6 months ago) The good news is, he is cancer free!!!
When they removed the prostate they had also removed some of the nerve endings outside of the prostate. This resulted in not having an erection. Now the Dr. said it is very common to experience this and it should come back. He is taking viagra since the surgery to ’stimulate’ the nerve endings. But it hasn’t helped at all. We will see his Dr. again in 3 weeks for his 6 month follow up. My question is: what else can we do, so we can have our sex life again? (the old fashion way – we are not into ‘toys’ ) Will he ever get it ‘up’ again?

Of course I’m happy he is cancer free and I rather have him alive then dead. But I wanted to know what other options we have before we see the Dr. Since his Dr. didn’t really go into any details yet

A: You are just going to have to be patient. It will come back in time..you just have to wait a little bit longer!

Q: How to cope with lost of sexual pleasure?
I’ve had some nerve damage after prostate surgery and resulted in total lost of my ability to have an orgasm. This has totally crushed me. I’m married male almost 40. My surgeon first told me that I have to give it time to heal. Three years later I still unable to feel pleasure. This has been totally frustrating and it appears to be something I have to live with the rest of my life. I’ve seen a couple of urologist, therapists and even a sex therapist. I’ve tried all sorts of treatment, but nothing is helping. I already know my sex life will never be the same. I’ve posting this question in hopes that I can find someone who has gone through this. How did you deal with the problem? My wife is understanding, but it is me that can’t deal with this. The level of sexual frustration is extreme.

A: Sexual pleasure is whatever you make it. You just have to get more creative and experiment with different things. Think of sexual gratification in terms of a whole body experience instead of focusing only on the sex organs. For instance, put on some sexy music and ask your wife to give you sensual massages. There are other erogenous zones on the male body besides the penis. Experiment until you find them, and have fun.

Q: I need info on prostate cancer and side effects from treatment?
I have a close friend who was diagnosed with prostate cancer and I need some questions answered on what the chances are for survival if it is caught early and what are the chances of having a regular love life after having your prostate removed? This is a man only 45 years old with a very active life and sex life and he is very concerned about how life will be after he has the surgery, if there is anyone who can tell me about personal experiences that are valid, please don’t send clips of articles on prostate cancer because I have read ALL those, thanks

A: I had prostate cancer in 2005 and am just fine with a current psa of .13 that is point one three…. cured.. I was treated with Proton Radiation. The reason I chose proton ratiation is that it has a 90% cure rate and no side effects. It is the best possible prostate cancer treatment available today in my opinion… I was not sick one single day during or after treatments and every part of my body works just as before I had the treatments. I am not incontent nor am i impotent.. Its like I never had cancer and I am now fine. Proton Radiation is very different from conventional radiation… With Proton Radiation 85-90 % of the treatment energy is delivered exactly at the point needing to be treated… Therefore no other body tissue or organs are damaged as with conventional radiation..that is why it has no side effects..

There is a website called PROTON BOB (bob stands for brotherhood of the balloon..it is part of the treatment) . The website tells lots a bout prostate cancer and proton radiation.. If you go to the website, you and your friend both should read the Patient Testimonal Section.. You will then see what I am talking about… Any one with Prostate Cancer who has ever been treated with Proton Radiation is as sold on it as I am.. We all just hate to see people take the other treatments when such a good treatment is available…that has no side effects and such a high cure rate.There is also a new book out written by Robert J Marckini (a prostate cancer surviver) called YOU CAN BEAT PROSTATE CANCER. It can be purchased at Barnes and Noble and ebay and some other places I think.. It tells all about prostate cancer and then it tells all about all of the different treatments options available today and includes all pros and cons or side effects of each treatment.. Any one with Prostate cancer or prostate problems should read the book..especilly before deciding on a treatment type,.
Doctors have been slow to recommend Proton Radiation for several reasons, many did not know about it, or knew very little about it.. , many considered or still consider it experimental.. then there is the green dollar bill reason.. If they send the patient else where for treatment they or their hospital dont make any money.. However they are now starting to recognize Proton Radiation.. I was treated at Loma Linda University Medical Center in Loma Linda California.. Loma Linda pioneered the treatment in this country 17 years ago and their success has been so great that they are now no longer being ignored.. M D Anderson in Houston Texas built a facility last year and now offers Proton treatments, Mass General in Boston, one in Jacksonville, Florida and one in Indiania currently offer it I think.. The Proton Bob website tells where its available….Just dont let some doctor who is not familiar with Proton Radiation or wants to treat you how ever he is trained ..tell you what to do..make you own decision…

To me chosing Proton Radiation is a no brainer .. the 90% cure rate and no side effects… It was like being on a ten week vacation when I had my treatments… If you would like I can locate some people in your area who have had Proton treatments who would be glad to share their experience with you.. I will be glad to talk to you myself .. just email me here on yahoo answers.. any of us (former proton radiation) would be glad to talk to you . That is how much we believe in the treatment..and why not.. just read the testimonials at PROTON Bob…..Sorry I wrote so much … but I just hate to see any one subject themselves to something bad when it is so unnessary… have a great day. Im not going to check my spelling and typos.. it disconnets me some times so here it comes bad spelling and all… Also most websites like American CAncer society etc.. will say nothing about Proton Radiaton… It is so aggravating.. they are mostly controlled with doctors and people who use other treatments.. and will not recommend it.. I think it is mostly a money thing still..very sad…Only thing I can say.. Is check with those of us who have had Proton Radiation and see what we have to say and whether or not we would do it over again.. I can tell you the universal answer will be YES!!!!! One funny thing when I was taking my treatments.. sure were lots of doctors and other medical professionals out there being treated for it with Proton Radiation.. guess it was good for them and not their patients… well there are several doctors in the testimonial section on Proton Bob.. they are catching on.. One other thing and I will finally quit.. If I were going to take the treatments, I think I would do it at Loma Linda University Medical Center again.. mainly because they have been doing it so long.. however Im sure MD Anderson or some of the others would be just fine.

Q: my boyfriend had his prostate removed about 3 mos. ago… will he be able to have sex still?
we met a couple of months after the surgery and it was an instant attraction between the two of us. after more than a month of dating we finally kissed. it was so passionate we could have exploded right there but later he realised his willy wasn’t cooperating. he got so frustrated i feel he doesn’t want to see me again. in as much as i want to comfort him that hugs and kisses are fine with me.. i know it is not going to help him much.. i wonder if he paid attention to the consequences of the surgery. he thinks he will still be able to have an erection and an orgasm in the future. it is making me sad seeing him so frustrated. what should i do? or what do you suggest we do?

A: The nerves that control erections reside on the surface of the prostate. If his cancer has not spread to the surface of the prostate, then the surgeon can peel the nerves off and leave them in place. If, however, the cancer has spread to the surface, then the surgeon will likely remove the nerves, as they are likely to be cancerous.

I had the Di Vinci surgery which is known for its “nerve sparing technique”, although all other surgeries can have a similar outcome. My cancer was small, the nerves were peeled off “in a textbook case” (according to my surgeon) and I was able to have relations with my wife about 6 weeks after surgery, with the help of Viagra.

I had read up on the procedure prior to having it, and that was one of my first questions to the surgeon.

Your surgeon is your most important source for information here. Ask him (or her) if the nerves were spared. If they were, then all your boyfriend needs is time and ED drugs to get things going again.

If the nerves could not be spared, then no ED drugs will help. You will then rely on the injections and/or implants that another answerer has posted.

Have him call his surgeon – that is the first step in determining how he will continue to have erections. Notice, I said he will be able – the question is how.

One plus that my wife pointed out – as he will no longer have an ejaculation with his orgasm, there will be no wet spot in the bed to avoid afterwards.

Q: What the hell is sexual compatibility, anyway? Why is it the foremost concern in a relationship?
Okay. I’m single. I’m looking for The One. I meet a lot of great guys. They like me. We get on okay. We enjoy the relationship, each other’s company and spending time together…until the sex question comes up. I never make it a secret that I am waiting for marriage, even though no one else is, and these men try to convince me, sway me from my position and then the all-time argument, “How do you know if you are sexually compatible if you don’t have sex first, before you marry?” The last time I checked, a man and a woman are physically sexually compatible. What most people are referring to is the emotional sexual compatibility; believe me, if you love someone, the sex will be pleasurable and that is because of the emotional connection, not a physical one; otherwise, how does one explain how one eventually falls for someone they’re either having or have had sex with? Sex causes us to release hormones that heighten feelings of bonding, especially in women. What is the source of sexual compatibility? Where does it come from? Most people never bother to determine if there is emotional compatibility; apparently, it doesn’t seem to matter and isn’t considered important. However, emotional compatibility is more important to me than sexual compatibility. What happens when the sex stops, say for a medical reason, or childbirth? What does one do when sex isn’t possible–health reason, ED, prostate issues or surgery–and there is no sex between a couple? Does the relationship fall apart? Simply put, I don’t believe that I have to have sex to form a bond first. Sex can last only so long, but the emotional bond will stand the test of time. As for the high divorce rate, if people were more concerned about emotional compatibility instead of how good they can get laid and how turned out their partners are in bed, maybe marriages would last longer. Sex is not a means of recreation, it is an expression of love for one’s partner; it is how married people reinforce the bond already established between them. I hear the same arguments: “No one buys a car without taking it for a test drive.” “No one buy clothes or shoes without trying them on.” To that, I say, “Guess what? No one wants or buys used clothes and shoes. As for cars, people wouldn’t buy a used car if they can get a new one. To have sex with every guy I date would be to essentially reduce myself to a cheese tray in the deli; men will take a free sample, but it’s highly unlikely that he’ll buy, or even worse, he’ll keep coming back for samples with no intention to buy, even though he swears he will. I will not give away pieces of myself to men who are not committed to me. My body is far too valuable to let hoardes of men sample it. I don’t understand where the whole sexual compatibility concept came from; in all my experience in sexual psychology, I have never encountered this before. It appears to me that everyone lives in fear in ending up in a sexless relationship or marriage and want to ensure they don’t by ensuring sexual compatibility. In my opinion, sexual compatibility is a scapegoat concept invented to free people of responsibility and liability and guilt in order to have an excuse to have sex freely. After all, who wants to marry someone without knowing if there is sexual compatibility? And who’s to say that someone isn’t using sexual compatibility as an excuse to have sex with someone? Anyone can claim to seek sexual compatibility and then after the sex, declare a lack of compatibility and move on to the next person. At that rate, one has already dealt their best card and sex is no longer special, just another means of entertainment and pleasure, like a massage or a movie. What gives???

A: SEX is the entire biological point between MEN and WOMEN.
If you don’t like it –>> STAY HOME AND STAY SINGLE.

Period.

We are not in the business of giving you girls everything ELSE you want, while you whine and complain about the biological nature which YOU CANNOT REFORM.

RELATIONSHIPS ARE NOT MORE IMPORTANT THAN SEX. Sex and attraction ALWAYS comes first. Relationships come much later. But women approach this all BACKWARDS. That’s why their relationships are frequently a screaming disaster and girls are always crying about it.

A “RELATIONSHIP” IS A WOMAN’S IDEA. For some reason women think that sex doesn’t go on UNLESS they are in a “relationship”. But that’s CRAP.

SEX –>> is based on the instant natural concept of attraction. And nothing else.

A RELATIONSHIP –>> is based on a much longer list of things that are worked on and earned over TIME.

So which do you think happens FIRST???

NOT the relationship.

Men are not required to want a relationship.Nor do men owe you personal happiness. The sooner you understand that – the sooner you can stop blaming men like we should APOLOGIZE for wanting to have sex.

“THE ONE ” is ANOTHER idea created by a woman. ITS A LIE. And it’s far too limiting. If you think there is just ONE, then you have set yourself up to fail before you have begun.

Cheers.

Q: Would you rather have a spouse who was incontinent or couldn’t have intercourse?
I know, it is a bit off the wall, but my Dad has prostate cancer, and after his surgery, he will have incontinence for awhile and also erectile dysfunction (gross–its my 62 year old Dad, after all). My Mom said that she would rather him have control of his bladder ASAP and have to wait for sex because she has vibrators (gross–its my 60 year old Mom).

Which would you rather your spouse get back the soonest, bladder control, or sexual function?
Alyssa–I absolutely did not ask.
Thanks Seth! His prognosis is excellent, but he doesn’t know about either the ED or the incontinence yet. He will shit a brick when they tell him.

A: Bladder control first, but for her own sake, cause I think that would be embarrassing for someone to suffer,

PS. Sorry your dad is ill, I hope things improve for him,

Seth.

Q: Just because you went to school don’t make better than everybody?
Just because a doctor went to college for 8 years don’t make him the smartest man in the world.Cause he don’t know shit about rest of world or he don’t know shit about other culture on how they they think cause all race don’t think the same way. And we don’t live the same life.And doctor think everybody is the same.Just because a person look dumb and sound dumb and suck in school don’t mean there better than that person.I had a friend once and he did suck in school and he look dumb and sound dumb but when it came to down to the bible he would make the whole world look dumb cause he knew every script in the bible he had it memorize.And some people are better than others.It say in constitution all man is treated equally and that is a lie cause that saying we all live the same life and we don’t.A doctor should judge somebody for the Color they are you can’t see every body as being white I mean they act like they care for me really I don’t give damn if they die or live and I don’t give a damn about there family either.Cause they is a fake but I’m the only real person in this world.They think I’m going to sue them after the surgery that is a lie cause I’m not greedy over money If I wanted there money I will take it in front of them, I wouldn’t need a stupid lawyer cause I don’t like them either.I don’t worship money cause it ain’t my god or girl’s or sex or some damn testicles or a prostate.

A: I don’t think that is a question. Not that you are wrong. I’d give a guy some money, but never my testicles.

Q: Libra And Scorpio Love And War!?
I HAVE JUST DECLARED WAR! STRIKE ONE IN EFFECT!
What would you do?
Here’s the situation. He’s addicted to oxycodone(perks),and has been addicted for a couple of years,now even worse,he’s an alcohic. Everyday pills and booze day after day,everyday,month,year was repeating it’s self,he had 2 back surgery’s,and prostate cancer at age 39 yrs old,and had it removed,and his mother died,I had no problem accepting no sex for the last 3 yrs,but for 3 yrs,no affection whatsoever,it’s like he lost everything so I must loose too,he made me feel like dying inside,he had given up.We have a 4 1/2 year old boy together,and just before he had his prostate removed we found out I was pregnant again,the boy is 5 now and the girl is 3 1/2 yrs old. I became cold towards him,and angry,he turned me (scorpio) into a Black Widowed Spider.I hated him for what has happened.He comes from a family with schizophrenia,drug abuse,alcohol abuse,mental problems,and I was seeing alot of mental problems starting at the end stages of our relationship,he was getting into porn,he worked for a place where they take care of mental patients (it’s true)and got fired for abusing one of them,he steals things whereever he goes,but one thing he loved his children they were his life,but he could only take care of them with a bottle in his mouth, He has never been abusive through the whole time we were together,I myself yes did attack him twice,one for getting me evicted,and second for me having to put my 2 dogs asleep,I had to deal with this all by myself.I kept kicking him out,and then allowing him back,then the last time was Christmas he came back,I was doing very well for the children and myself,I felt like living again and was so happy,I remained alone with the children,but let him back to try again,then it was like I felt like dying again,he new it was over,he did try,but the booze and pills still continued,I would look at him like I wanted to rip his head off,I stayed away from him so I went into my son’s room to clean it this was a couple of days after Christmas,he wasn’t working at that time I paid for everything,at this time he was going through about 7 days withdrawl from the pills,so he was drinking heavy,but whenever he drank,he’s a happy person,you would never know he just consumed 15 to 20 beers. It was the strangest things,I could never understand,and still can’t. He came down into my son’s bedroom with a diaper,I was working for hours in the house cleaning and then taking a 5 minute brake,he told me to change my daughter’s diaper,I looked at him and told him to do it himself,he took the diaper and shoved it into my mouth,I started kicking him and told him to get the f away from me,I got up and went into the kitchen,he followed me and through the bay wipes at me so I bent down to pick them up then while I was down he came in back of me and started to shove the baby wipes into my mouth.I couldn’t breath,I got away abit on my knees,and then he started kicking me,I turned and looked up and there he was kicking me with a smile on his face but he wasn’t the only one kicking me my 4 year old son was kicking me too,both were laughing,I looked at my son and said don’t do that to mommy,I got up,and he used the palms of his hands to hit me in the ribs and chest,I freaked out and started to fight back,my son at this time was at my feet laying on the floor,his father kept hitting me and I was falling on my son,trying not to fall on him,my son later said daddy was stepping on my hair,my son was pinned to the ground by his hair,my son got up and his nose was bleeding,I looked at my son but his father was in front of me blocking me with his hand,so I fought to get away,then I was some how on the ground again,and I couldn’t stop screaming,I went into shock,then I realized I had wet myself,I grabbed the counter to pull myself up,and went to help my son,I put him in my room,I grabbed the phone and he said he would kill me if i called the police,then he wasn’t there in the room,I tried the phone but there was no dial tone,so I proceded to the basement,and there he was moving away from the wall,he had unplugged the phone lines,so I kept trying til I could get them back on,and i did, so I called his father crying and told him what has happened,and to get his son out of my house,and he replied he wasn’t going to do that,and for me to call the police,but I knew i couldn’t.I also called my sister.He listened to my phone calls,after I grabed the phone and a knife and went to my room where both my children were now sleeping.I locked my door and stayed awake all night afraid,he didn’t come near me,I knew had to leave early in the morning for an appointment so I waited and when he left around 6 or7 am,I came out of my room and locked all the doors,now I knew I had him out and if he did try to re enter it would be break and enter and I would have called the police,on Jan 12 we heard from him again,he threatened me if I call the police, and we haven’t heard from him yet,that same day I checked all windows in the house to make sure they were all locked,the basement windows have boards and thing up in front of them and I found 3 windows unlocked,I new it was him,and the boards and things were placed back,I keep my children with me everynight, I’m afraid,I don’t sleep at night I protect the house,I wait for the sun to come up then I rest,I’m tired,hurt,exausted,the pain from the attack was bad I had problems breathing my ribs ad chest hurt so bad,it took a month to heal,the children I keep very busy,and happy.I am ready to go to the police station and report him,but it’s been a month,no doctor records,but I did take pictures of the bruises.I told my son what his father has done is very bad,and that was the end of the story. He will never see his son again,nor does he care,no financial help at all. LOVE AND WAR!

A: GIRL,

you put your story out there.
GOD BLESS YOU
i was going to say I’m Capricorn and he’s Gemini. NO.

MY OLD MAN IS ON THE SAME COCKTAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

be strong GOD has great plains for you. your child may be the next president of the united states on your hands.

don’t be discourage,mommy’s are endures

and that is not a love war it is an addiction for you too.
you love or loved this man been through hell and back.

listen by a book on self esteem or from the library while your child is at school.
i know that feeling when your fighting ,deep in your soul it’s a feeling you cannot describe.
please attend church and give it to GOD.

the best of luck sisters in astrology and cocktails
VICKI

A: Go to the police. Get help. Seek a protective order. GET OUT!!!

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